Wise or foolish woman?

The other day I sat in a matatu my eyes on Proverbs 14. Coincidentally Classic 105 was airing one of its salacious stories on everyday life and a woman caller was narrating how her marriage broke down.
She said that she had a defined evening programme for each work day. She would live work at 6 p.m. and then head off to a café where she would have quality time with the girls up to about 8p.m. She would then get home by 9p.m. Her husband she said, reluctantly agreed to this arrangement. However he soon changed his mind and demanded that she comes home straight from work. Not one to be commanded around, she adamantly stuck to her evening routine.
Things quickly went south and before long she walked out of the relationship.

 As I listened to this story and then read Proverbs 14:1, I couldn't agree with the bible more. To be a good home-maker requires wisdom.

It cannot be without good reason that the woman is traditionally called the ‘home-maker’. For example in my culture when a man constructs a house it is reckoned to be his wife’s. This was the elders’ collective nod to the traditional view that the woman is indeed the ‘home-maker’. I have a true example in the troubles that my grandfather went through. He was one of the first to build a modern house in his rural area. It was magnificent by the standards of the day. Later he married a younger woman and attempted to kick out my grandma to a smaller grass-thatched hut he had constructed for use as a kitchen. The elders promptly summoned him and told him that the grand house actually belonged to my grandma. To his dying days he lived to rue his actions.

The bible places different responsibility for relationships on both the man and the woman but in this instance it rounds up on the woman.
The word foolish here can take two meanings. The first meaning is one who is morally deficient in the sense that they do not live by the moral laws either because they do not know them or are simply unwilling to live by them. The second meaning is one who displays ignorance in the way they go about resolving life issues. The caller on live radio is  a good example of the latter type.

If one does not read the scriptures and understand them how are they to apply them in their relationships? For example the bible urges wives to ‘respect their husbands. If a woman is unable or unwilling to search the body of meaning around this exhortation, how will they apply it and so sustain their relationships?

Secondly one can be ignorant of the general rules of relationships and so suffer the consequences. This is why churches conduct pre-marital classes. This is also why one needs to keep good company and regularly read up on godly relationship literature.
A wise woman also fights off worldly influences from media and friends that contaminate heart and mind.

 For if one does not have a good understanding of how her spouse thinks and functions then they are likely to suffer in the relationship and eventually lose it altogether.

The good thing is that just as there are many foolish women out there, so are there wise ones who know God and how to apply his word to daily life. I recall with a smile certain moments when we were planning  our wedding. As happens with many couples, we simply couldn't agree on certain key points. And as with many men at this stage I felt that some of my woman’s expectations were bordering on the outlandish. Lucky for me, she had introduced me to some of her older friends. Whenever we would reach a stalemate, I would engineer a visit with her to one of these mature friends and then subtly introduce the subject.
To say that we benefited greatly from their wisdom is an understatement. Such women are to be praised. Indeed as proverbs 31 concludes:
“…..Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”